Welcome to /then,

where all my old /now pages go when their time in the sun has set. Scroll on through if you fancy.

What is a /now page? A movement created by Derek Sivers meant to mimic the sort of check-in you have with a friend that you haven't seen in awhile. So far having these sort of check-ins with myself have been very useful in actually anchoring me to a few important goals in a sea of possible commitments. Learn more and create your own here!

Posted on 1.26.26 🌓

So, what are you up to?

I’m finally back in the classroom, both teaching and finishing up my degree at community college. Both have been pretty chill so far. This is my second year teaching the same program, and this semester almost all of our students are “returners” which is pretty cool. Not every educator gets to watch their students grow up in that way, and I feel very grateful and moved by the experience.

The other day I had to interview for my old position at the school paper because bureaucracy, but just talking about journalism was getting me so hyped.Things have changed a lot in the semester I was away - all for the better. I had to leave pretty unexpectedly right as a new chapter was starting for the paper, so I’m super excited to be part of the team again. I love having such an exciting and fast-paced job! I start next week!

The Basics

Season: Frigid Winter | Getting real sick of all this i c e
Color I feel like lately: #54805e
Current Mantra: Don’t run from something just because it’s scary; don’t run to something just because it’s familiar.

Goals

Personal: Things have been really hard lately and I’ve reverted back to my factory settings of in turn being really hard on myself. I’m doing my best to get in the way of that and engage in positive self-talk etc.
Academic: Take deep breaths while I make it through this last little bit of my Associates degree
Artistic: Taking an art class on color, teaching, and learning to knit. Next up is learning how to purl!

Media

On Repeat: Been listening to Tierra Whack religiously. I discovered her project Whack World, a series of fifteen (the EP from front to back) one-minute songs and music videos, around the time it came out and it changed my life. It helped me rethink how I show up as a woman and artist. Her music is lyrically dense but easy to feel good listening to because it’s so goofy at the same time. Shower Song is a great example of how silly her music and artistic vision can be.
Reading: learn to knit in 50 squares by Anna Pantelous | I’ve also been making my way through this study I discovered in a Popular Mechanics article on a possible unified theory of physics. Most of it is above my head but also it’s fascinating.
Hyperfixation: Every second I’m not knitting or doing something productive is spent sleeping or playing Balatro

Big picture to-do list:

1. Actually make all the squares from the learn to knit book (plus a few extra) to make a big poncho!
2. Continue backlogging finished art pieces on my “Portfolio” site and poetry here on the blog
3. Pick a bedtime. . . any bedtime. . . hopefully a responsible one. . . and stick to it

Last Big To-Do List:

1. Find a new therapist Therapist secured!
2. Create and submit zines for LICZ Life got too crazy, this will have to wait till next time
3. Make a separate page on Bear as a dedicated Art Portfolio Tada!

Posted 1.1.26 🌔

So, what are you up to?

I was in the hospital in early December to study my epilepsy and received a secondary diagnosis of FND while there. Since I got home I’ve been taking things slow, regrouping, and saving up all my energy for cheery holiday festivities with close friends. I’ve been out of school for a semester while figuring out health stuff so I’m gearing up for that as well. As we transition from 2025 to 2026 my big lofty goal is to build back a sense of intuition. Last year I thought a lot about how it’s hard to “trust your gut” if your stomach is always in knots and all the ways that same concept applied to having faith in myself. This year with the help of a therapist whose specialties more closely align with my FND symptoms, I’m ready to hear myself again and actually listen.

The basics

Season: Winter | Healing & Rebirth
Color I feel like lately: #c795e8
Current Personal Mantra: A new reality is just a mindset away.

Goals

Personal: Practice self compassion and find a healthy pace that works for me as I head into a new, busy season of life
Academic: Finally finish my degree! I’ve been in and out of college for over a decade now!!
Artistic: Learning to knit. I’m about to finish my first scarf! Also, I’m creating a series of zines on epilepsy and FND for a local zine fest. The deadline is at the end of January!

3 Month to-do list:

1. Find a new therapist
2. Create and submit zines for LICZ
3. Make a separate page on Bear as a dedicated Art Portfolio

Media

On Repeat: Care 2 Share by Hector Gachan and Deadbeat by Tame Impala
Reading: Attempting to actually finish Imajica by Clive Barker and listening to Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.
Hyperfixations: The Amazing Digital Circus (looks cute but thematically very dark, you’ve been warned), Terraria, and these tiny sticker boxes they just started carrying at my local art supply store