Welcome to /then,

where all my old /now pages go when their time in the sun has set. Scroll on through if you fancy.

What is a /now page? A movement created by Derek Sivers meant to mimic the sort of check-in you have with a friend that you haven't seen in awhile. So far having these sort of check-ins with myself have been very useful in actually anchoring me to a few important goals in a sea of possible commitments. Learn more and create your own here!

Posted 1.1.26 🌔

So, what are you up to?

I was in the hospital in early December to study my epilepsy and received a secondary diagnosis of FND while there. Since I got home I’ve been taking things slow, regrouping, and saving up all my energy for cheery holiday festivities with close friends. I’ve been out of school for a semester while figuring out health stuff so I’m gearing up for that as well. As we transition from 2025 to 2026 my big lofty goal is to build back a sense of intuition. Last year I thought a lot about how it’s hard to “trust your gut” if your stomach is always in knots and all the ways that same concept applied to having faith in myself. This year with the help of a therapist whose specialties more closely align with my FND symptoms, I’m ready to hear myself again and actually listen.

The basics

Season: Winter | Healing & Rebirth
Color I feel like lately: #c795e8
Current Personal Mantra: A new reality is just a mindset away.

Goals

Personal: Practice self compassion and find a healthy pace that works for me as I head into a new, busy season of life
Academic: Finally finish my degree! I’ve been in and out of college for over a decade now!!
Artistic: Learning to knit. I’m about to finish my first scarf! Also, I’m creating a series of zines on epilepsy and FND for a local zine fest. The deadline is at the end of January!

3 Month to-do list:

1. Find a new therapist
2. Create and submit zines for LICZ
3. Make a separate page on Bear as a dedicated Art Portfolio

Media

On Repeat: Care 2 Share by Hector Gachan and Deadbeat by Tame Impala
Reading: Attempting to actually finish Imajica by Clive Barker and listening to Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.
Hyperfixations: The Amazing Digital Circus (looks cute but thematically very dark, you’ve been warned), Terraria, and these tiny sticker boxes they just started carrying at my local art supply store